A modern dictionary defines a secret as the knowledge that is hidden and intended to be kept hidden. So, why then do we, more often than not, trust other people with our secrets especially ones from our past that do not define us presently.
Most of us might share some of these secrets with people because we trust them or because sometimes when everyone else (especially our close friends) has something to share, we also want to join them so that we also have something to contribute. “I mean if everyone’s sharing that secret, who am I not to?”. I do not know why most of us do it but I can give you some reasons why I think it’s not a good idea to share your dirty old secrets with people you should not no matter how tempting it might be, no matter how used to the person you might have become.
However, before I dive into the important reason why I think you should not share your secrets (from here on, secrets will replace dirty past) with your so-called trusted friends. If under any circumstance you wish to divulge your secrets to anyone, ensure it’s one or all of these three people; you, yourself and God or the gods, whichever works for you..
Let us assume the kind of life you used to live and the things you used to do are ones you were not proud of or you were involved in things that are usually not acceptable based on societal standards but now, you are a new person and you no longer indulge in these unacceptable things, do not bother to tell your friend about it, that part of your life is over and over for good, you do not need to go around trusting people with it.
WHY?! Why should you tell them?!
By default, humans will judge you, whether or not they know your past, present and future and if your name has been written in black ink, it is likely that their present perception of you will be influenced by the ink. What you do not want to do is be the person that gives the “Black ink” information to them.
If a situation comes up sometimes in the future (after you have shared your past) and this situation is somewhat related to something you used to be involved in in the past say -
- Money was stolen at a house party where you and your friend with whom you shared your secret happened to be in attendance and after long and thorough searching, the money was found.
I do not think I need to tell you what your so-called trusted friend had at the back of his mind during the time when the money was lost and when it was found.
Do you know what he or she was thinking?
What if one day, remains of drugs (hard drugs) were found in a place and you happen to be there with your friend but no questions were asked and on another occasion, drugs were found and you guys were around but your friend does not say anything to you about it (not because he doesn’t want to but because it might be awkward), even during the conversations friends have about things that happened during the day.
All these while your friend suspects you for all those things that happened, there are questions at the back of his mind that he would like to put forward and I can assure you the most important and probably the only question he would really like to ask is
“Were you the one that did it?”
If you keep your secrets secret and to yourself, when something related to who you were in the past happens in the present or future, you know in your own heart that your conscience is clear and your friend is not burdened by the guilt of doubting you, and their conscience, like yours is clean because they might have no reason to think you might have committed the offence. Everybody is happy, Life is good.