May 27th, 2019

THE BITTER HAPPINESS

What is Happiness?

Or at least, what are our respective definitions of happiness? Happiness is peace of mind, no 
looking over your shoulders, no late nights thinking about unpaid debts, no bothering about your
mother’s ailing health. It is complete and absolute freedom of mind with consciousness of 
everyday challenges around but having the willingness and strength to pull through. But with all 
the calm and tranquility in a mind at peace, there is still a nagging urge at the back of our minds 
to achieve more, nothing might be wrong generally but there is usually still a void for 
improvement in wellbeing. Your family’s health is good enough, but there’s still the need to 
provide a healthier lifestyle. Your debts are settled but there’s still the need to make more 
money and go down the endless road of financial freedom, the endless road. Peace of mind is 
important and necessary, but it does not in any way undermine human aspirations and an 
individual’s need for more. 
Happiness might be having everything you want, financial freedom, success, health, property; 
the list goes on and on. But in all honesty, no man can really have everything he wants. For 
example, the rich want power, fame or simply to be richer and the attainment of these things 
only fuels people to chase after more. Happiness is a journey not a destination, we can’t “arrive”
at being happy; it’s a continuous lifelong fulfilling process.
Remember as children when we had toys or other valued possessions, we liked our toys
and we enjoyed playing with them, in that moment we were happy. But when a sibling got 
another toy or attention was shifted to another item by people around us we automatically liked 
that other item, having less regard for the toy or item that made us “happy”. In reality we are not 
much different from children in that trait, as adults our level of maturity and contentment might 
have increased, but that contentment and satisfaction is being dictated by society. A woman 
who is single and searching cannot seem to find Mr. Right because all the charming and good 
men around might appeal to her, but society’s picture of Mr. Right is tall and handsome with a 
car, a house and a fat bank account. So she’s not happy until she finds that description 
because if she settles for otherwise, it won’t be impressive enough to people around her and 
quite frankly, it won’t be impressive enough to her - she won’t be “happy”. A young man would 
rather wear casual clothes because of comfort and simplicity but from the media, the movies, 
the blogs and the music videos; Gucci, Versace and Philip Plein are all evidence of a fulfilled life
and an successful young man. So he flaunts his expensive watch on outings and on social 
media and people see that he is “happy” and aspire to attain this kind of happiness.
But the thing is there are no general requirements for happiness, it’s a unique state of 
mind, unique to every individual and if you haven’t found your own personal and unique 
happiness, the answer is simple, CREATE IT. Create your own personal paradise that only you 
can find solitude and contentment in. You shouldn’t have to attain certain things or have certain 
people in your life or be a certain kind of person and then convince yourself that you are happy 
that way. You shouldn’t have t o follow the general prescription or definition of happiness. The 
detrimental part of this society inflicted misinterpretation of contentment is that when we fall 
short of these fake requirements, we start to live in constant denial, denial of ourselves, our 
abilities and our importance as individuals. We live thinking little of ourselves. Be happy for who 
you are, for your friends, for family. Ignore the world’s opinions and filtered perceptions of what 
should make YOU happy, because only you know what makes you happy. Avoid toxic people 
and savor moments. Search deep down for the things that bring you joy and when you find them
hold on to them. Live, love and be genuinely happy regardless of what it looks like to others. 

​Tezor Dedam
​Writer.